Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
