Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
