there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize