Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's Friday. Sex?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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