What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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