After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
