it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
