Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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