The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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