I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
