She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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