Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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