look no pants
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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