"it" just moved
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
