I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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