also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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