i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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