Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
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