I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
