we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There r osticjed everywhere
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
