you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
