i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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