after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
