Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
