singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
