I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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