if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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