can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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