I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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