I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
