I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So much rum. So many feels.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
