Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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