this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
