Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
