I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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