Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
