I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
