Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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