So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
