I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
