i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
