I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
