he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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