Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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