Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize