Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
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You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
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That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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