Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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