i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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