my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize