is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
