I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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