You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So vagazzling was a success
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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