i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
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I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.