shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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