Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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