I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
