so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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